Sorry for seriously disappearing this month before the wedding. It happened. It was AMAZING--I am not someone who expected or needed my wedding to be the best day of my life so far. But it was. It was perfect. We are jetting off on our honeymoon tomorrow, but I'll post more details when we return the end of September.
There was a flurry of discussion a while ago about wedding budgets. I didn't chime in, but I am going to now. What I say may not be popular, but that isn't what this whole process is about -- it's about being you and being honest about that. Honestly, our wedding budget is way way higher than we intended it to be. Well, that's not entirely true. At a certain point we made a decision to have a wedding that cost more or less what we are spending. I actually didn't really want to know what it was costing--we've paid so much as we go (deposits, invitations, dress) that I sort of lost track and wasn't too upset about that. At this point we can't really change much, so what's the point. Sweetie, thinking the picture was better than it is put together a spreadsheet and now we know. It's a big number. Even though we are buying our own alcohol and doing our own flowers. It's a number that we could have done a lot of other things with. Do I regret it? No. Planning a wedding has meant a lot of things to me and for us as a couple. We have learned a lot about ourselves and our families; some good, some not so good. And while planning a wedding hasn't always been "fun" we have grown so much during this process. We have started to figure out who we are as a couple and how we as a couple relate to our friends and our families. We've seen how to press our families buttons (and, hopefully, we can translate this knowledge in the future into how not to press their buttons). I have learned a lot about myself and my fiance. And, I have to say what I have learned only makes me love him more. He is so loving and kind and supportive. He may be a pushover about somethings, but when people are hurting me, he is my champion. What a wonderful feeling. I trust him more now that we've gone through this. We feel more comfortable with each others strengths and weaknesses. My fiance will never be perfect and shame on me if I ever expect him to be; he wouldn't be very lovable if he were. I know that a party may not be worth what we are spending, but I certainly think that a solid marriage is. Could we have accomplished what we have and spent much less, absolutely! Each of our situations is different, and my sanity was certainly worth some portion of what we are spending. I am truly envious of all you brides who have thrifted and crafted and created a beautiful meaningful wedding at a fraction of the cost of ours. You have accomplished something really wonderful that I haven't. And I admire you for that. But this is our wedding and we have done the best that we can. And this experience, this opportunity for growth, is priceless. So, I will not feel bad about the cost--I will celebrate what this journey has brought us (even if its pretty darn expensive!). Cheers!
So, I am trying to pick shoes. If you'll recall, my bridesmaids are wearing aqua, lavender, light blue, and pink. They are wearing these shoes, to help keep their look coherent. I also have a pair like this, that I could wear to match, but I think I'd prefer something more colorful.
Here are a few options I've come up with, what do you think?
With only 53 days left to go until the wedding and still needing to finish my job, find an apartment, pack, and move between now and then in addition to all the remaining wedding tasks, I am feeling overwhelmed!! I know it will all get done, but these days I am afraid to look at my to-do list because I know that there are so many things that need to get done like NOW! The likelihood of out-of-town bags and favors diminishes every day...
On a totally different subject, I apologize for the lack of pictures lately. For whatever reason, I have gotten out of the habit of taking photos myself (I sealed up our second to last invitation and totally forgot to take a picture of the liner to post!) and although I still enjoy looking at pretty wedding photos, they no longer provide the inspiration for me that they once did. Now, I see something pretty but I know its not what we are going to do, so I think "oh that's lovely" and quickly move on. So, that's why you haven't many photos around lately. I am trying to work on it because I know they make my blog oh so much prettier for your viewing pleasure!
I took Friday off to attend a wedding in Newport Beach, California with my fiance. It was awesome--I think I really needed a mini-vacation. My my fiance's dad's cousin's grandson (not sure what that technical relationship is called) was getting married and my fiance was a groomsman. It was really neat to meet some future (attenuated) relatives. For some reason it gave me some much needed perspective about why I am really looking forward to being married. Sometimes our wedding feels like the capstone to my youth. That once we are married we have to start being "grown up" and that it will symbolize the end of some things in my life that I have really cherished (independence!) and we will now start to get "old." Which is true to some extent. But at this wedding for some reason I really felt how excited I am to have my own family with my fiance and our (hopefully) future children. I am also really looking forward to getting a whole new family to learn about, love, and with whom to share our joys and sorrows. Although I will never have another wedding, I am looking forward to all the new experiences marriage will bring. Including, hopefully, the wedding of our children and grandchildren. So, right now I am more excited about the adventure that will be our life together and less sad about my single life that I am leaving behind. I feel nearly, almost ready to be married. (And just in time, I think we have about 54 days left!).